Noah’sArc (Francies Version)

In the dusty sands of isreals land

The lord looked down and saw noah

With his wife and children and the love

They had and they praying on their knees

And deserving a gold medal for being good

And then He changed the channel to see

The rest with lovers and haters, killing

Each other with abandon. Men loving

Men and women loving women and

More men and animals eating animals

And drinking liquor and singing and

Dancing and indulging in all manner

of debauchery and hideously fun

And terribly joyful sins

and turning to the spirit

He declared oh holy spirit who once

Was a ghost what should I do to these

People who flaunt the laws of their god.

The holy spirit went silent and thought

Deep and pondered long and declared

“Ask the young lad I’m a bit busy here”

And he went back to drinking wine with

The angels and playing with their fiddles

So god looked upon his son on his left

And asked on to him what shall he do

And the son turned and said

burn the bushes and scare their wits

The lord said no  it only  made him high

And got them giggling and of no use

so the one on the right got mad

with the disturbance and suggested a flood

A big flood to destroy all in its path.

And god looked down and agreed

A flood son yes a flood of godly

Proportions but I will save two of all

The living species that will go forth

To glorify my wonder

The light awoke noah in his marriage bed

His wife asleep in his arms, the voice

Soft whispered in his ears

Awaken noah and hear my word

I am your lord the ruler of all mankind

You shalt go forward and gather the wood

To build an arc like never seen before and I will

Deliver onto you two of every species one male

One female but we wont be having any of them gays.

With their loving carryon and wanting to be married

You shall Sail upon my flood of death and after 40 days

you and your cargo will go forth to rule and populate

The creation created by your god’s love for you.

And moses looked up to the light and his bones

creaked and he shuttered and on to the lord he

asked with half drunken eyes

“who’s there, get out of the garden and don’t be going on

With such manner of Crazy talk.

And the lord scratched his head and the room

Trembled and thunder roared and noah fell to his

knees in believe and the light

Faded from his presence. And the wife clattered him

For waking her before the alarm went of.

He set forth With his sons upon  his mission

Well apart from timmy who was studying

Accountancy and may not be eligible for transport on

Account of his fondness for boy bands and such like

He began beating nails into wood and spreading tar

Over planks and constructing a mighty

Arc fit for a diety or a king or a nation

Of horny couples of animals and beasts,

Ugly men of poor taste and hairy women of low morals

The locals laughed and his sons sweated

And his wife went half demented and

His daughters prayed for peace and

tranquillity. Then in the month of May

As flowers bloomed and the birds sang

They nailed the final nail. God descended

On a cloud and called all the animals

Forth and he shouted at noah to get up

Out of the bed quick and open the door

And the animals went in two by two.

There was elephants and kangaroos

Tigers and monkeys too and grey

Hippos and snakes that were blue.

They all marched and crawled and slithered

Into that big auld arc as the waters started

To fall and rise upon the land and the doors

Were shut and the people ran to noah for help

And he wept as the lord said no let

Them drowned, I shall kill them all, millions

Of them will perish for those sins like

Scratching themselves too vigorously

of a Sunday morning and eating bull meat of a Friday

And the earth shook with the screams of

Drowning people and animals who did nothing

Worse than been born at the wrong time and

A flotilla of babies with innocent smiles

Floated on merciless waters of death

A gencide of godly Proportions .

On gods right the son cried and wrote

His dreams upon a tablet of stone

To love thy neighbour as thyself and do onto

To others like I would do onto you. On the

Left the spirit shuddered with the weight of

So many souls all at once knocking at the

Gates which had been locked since Adam ate

The juicy looking apple from the tree of

Knowledge and was left short changed

With he learning feck all only that woman

Knew everything from cradle to tomb

And god looked at the pair of them and

He wondered where he had gone wrong

And as the screams of the multitudes

Echoed from the fires of hell, the devil

Could be heard laughing and god decreed

That the gates should be opened and on

A cross with his blood draining and in mortal

Agony his son would earn the key.

And the son fainted and the holy spirit

Wished he was beyond the gates Down below

where the party had descended into full swing

The abandoned souls in flames of singing

and laughing and dancing and loving

And all manner of debauchery and fun

On the arc the dream descended into a

Nightmare as the sea rocked and sun boiled

And the animals feed their hunger with

Other animals. The tigers eat the goats. The

Lions ate the sheep . The kangaroos bounced

Into the elephant who panicked and

Laid waste to feasts of the rest and mayhem

Ensued and noah panicked and the waves

Continued to rise and the rain continued

To fall and the smell below was putrid

And blood flowed and then it stopped.

The rain stopped the animals stopped

And god called onto noah to bring forth

The inheritors of paradise and noah

Fainted and his wife abandoned ship

And then there was silence and once

More the plan had failed and the devil

Laughed and god scratched his head

And with a wave he woke the animals

From death and away they ran two

By two and everyone sang hurrah hurrah.

Francie McGivney 06.05.15