Tag Archives: #dementia

Saturday

They sense the special

In each other

My ma and my daughter

The wonder in their eyes

The gentle strength

Of their soul

The words of my ma

Expressions to explain

The exploration of the self

Is added to by the query of

Her grandchild

Standing over the place of rest

Of my grand parents

Shared with the ashes of my da

Her question with a twinkle

do you get to choose

Your grave neighbours ?

Catching my eye

The one we share in misdirected

Common beauty.

Our laughter mingled

With the words

Reaching beyond the ordinary

To a place where

Dreams embrace the wonder

Of thoughts drifting unheeded

By human restraints

To wonder at the beauty of the world

Where dragonflies drift within the mind

Through rainbow slides of self discovery

Gentleness

He could see it in her eyes the way she looked at him from behind the screen. her hand reached out to touch her son who had returned. The reinstated gentleness in him as obvious to her as the colour of the fields or the taste of hot tea after a walk of a stormy day.

The blood flowing in his veins cleaned and cleared, his mind behind his own eyes softer, more aware of the world around him, with memories fleeting but still there to be welcomed for the precious time until they flittered back behind doors not locked but jammed shut in need of prising open when the inclination would come upon him. Sometimes they just swing open on their own accord. A glimpse of beauty wrapped in a gift of feelings and images and heightened sensory delights.

he recognises in himself the words of the nurse. “when your mother says no she means no” with a smile on her lips for the respect for a woman of determined mind while it roams in a desert of uncertainty and fear.

In himself he embraces the gentleness. his words comforting his soul as he listens to conversations and recognises a calmness he lost among the chaos and the process of living.

not that the time between gentle tides was anything but filled with wonder and joy too. the ebb and flow on the sunny beach needs the ocean’s scream to sing the mellow tune of peace.

(c) Frankie McGivney 10/05/2021 (feeling blessed)

Little notes to myself

They dumped the Trump. Finally realising he wasn’t the winning card but losing cad

Katie Taylor beat the world

Feed the nightmares by eating a cheese sandwich. Does different types create different imaginings

Talking reaches out and takes sadness in its embrace

There’s no coming back from treating some one with the ultimate contempt of believing they will except a betrayal of love. The betrayal is nothing only a moment in time. The contempt of thinking so little of them represents an internal self definition which last a lifetime with no return

Love yourself the way your dog loves you

Love others like a cat loves you

Sometimes another human can make you turn away with the desire to lash down a Valium by drinking a dissolvable tramadol

Blind boy’s pod cast look it up

Take a break and learn from the laughter created by Tommy tiernan

Read something

Remember you belong

Don’t be going off asking an Irish person a question if you aren’t prepared to spent a bit of time listening to the story of the answer

The story won’t be all true but you know it’s not true and I know it’s not true but we both know it’s not true so that’s okay.

Problem is some people don’t realise the stories aren’t fully true. The real quest is to meet the challenge of knowing truth from story telling and discovering which to enjoy and which to ponder upon

Cats love while still protecting themselves by remaining the cat who allows the human into their lair

Dogs love by wagging their tails and jumping around like a lunatic just out of the house for the bewildered after 20 years in a strait jacket

No matter how bad COVID is or anything else the options are to learn from the experience or to not

(C) frankie Mcgivney writing stuff

Fragments

Distant I wonder

Can I grasp

I reach so far

To touch

And fail

Where do you go to

My lovely

Inside the fog

When I’m alone

In my mind

A glimmer drips

To grasp

To pretend

To hope

They are blind

To the loss

Of context

Of fear

Of the unknown

ignorance of

Myself of

What I know

I no longer know

(C)

Frankie Mcgivney grasping at memories in a fog not knowing if any exist or if the only dreams are future thoughts with the past forever lost. But still a smile for the courage of humanity to be alive to hear the bird song while waking to forgetting names sometimes my own

No longer I lie

Without a whisper to touch

The skin beneath my hope

My eyes fluttering to dream

I relish the Twitter , the tweet

And the tune they sing

Betwixt the green and brown

Calling to new lovers to hear

The beauty of their mellow

Song drifting in the air

(C) frankie Mcgivney the moments before sleep listening to my travelling companions among the leafs upon the trees

A seat

The bench, old and worn, was cold to the touch through the wool of my trousers

Hi

I could see a line of grime etched into the lines beneath her face as she looked up from her can and threw the shortest of dirty looks expertly mingled with a sound mixture of disinterested distain

Sometimes no doesn’t have to be put Into words or perhaps a look is the strongest no

Still and all it’s not a bad day all things considered

The look again this time I noticed a bunch of her hair stuck together with blood or sweat or vomit or whatever sticks hair together when a member of the human fraternity doesn’t get to avail of the washing facilities of a day or even a month

You can go fuck of if you think you getting something out of me I’m no hooker

I’m no punter either

Good cos I’m particular about who I be having the fun with

Me too

Yeah right

Yeah right exactly

Don’t be getting fucking smart you fucker

I just saying I not into hookers

You should be

Ah here

Well the state of you with the head on you and that Gammy eye and you look like your mother picked out the clothes. Is that wool?

Feck sake you’re worst than a commentator on one of them shows

What shows

You know the xfactor bollixology

Here listen don’t be using that kind of language in front of a Lady

Fair enough

And a slow breeze trailed across our path while we both looked on at the city passing by. a quietness in the kaleidoscope of hustle

You know no one talks as they walk

I looked up and listened and watched

Your man over there is talking on his phone

I thought I told you not to be a wise fucker

You only mentioned being a smart one

Whatever. He is on a phone that don’t count

Why not

It just doesn’t

Why

Cos it’s like the mad cunts who talk to themselves it’s not real talking it’s just pretend chitter chatter

I see what you mean

About the phone

No about them not talking they just are all rushing

Yeah

Yeah

Have you a light

Have you a fag

Yeah

Right then

And I saw her eyes were brown when she held the flame

She would have been a beautiful daughter to some Da a long time ago

She held the smoke deep inside, feeling it’s warmth before slowly releasing it back into the world

I better make a move

She nodded and looked back down

I touched her shoulder gently when i stood, the briefest of contacts; she didn’t react, maybe she hadn’t noticed

I walked on with out a word been uttered to a soul, a member once more of the rushing throngs

(C) frankie mcgivney

Just a random story of top of my head I hope it reads okay. The words I love to write

Peace forgotten

Whispering the wind

Hails my peace

Thundering showers

Raging in my mind

Images spiralling

I stretch I tear the skin

From my arms to grasp

The memories they hold

But I fail

I surrender

the fight over

They cry their tears

The desire to be caught

Lost in the silence

The empty echo

I hear inside

The peace

A hollow friend

I wished

I never embraced

With hollow thoughts

A friend reflected

In the mirror

With my eyes

Vacant of the past

My memories

Shut behind a door

With a key

Rusted from overuse

The therapy to remember

Corroded, it lies with the rest

Memory notes with words

I can’t comprehend

Images I can’t recall

Screams I can’t roar

Calm I drift inside

To heal to hope

To stray slow

Along a path

With a start

As unclear

As the end

Praying

I’ll find a peace

Full of dreams

Rather than this

Blank space

void of memory

(C) frankie Mcgivney

Remember when you see the emptiness in another’s eyes that behind the empty echos is a man or woman struggling to reach themselves before ever they can touch the world outside

Flow

Meandering it loses its path

The wee trickle smiles

To the badgers gaze

Succumbing to the warmth

Of a different sky

Wondering why it can’t

Reach the distant echoes

Of forgotten familiar names

It’s contentment in solitary

Tributaries of a silence

Designed to repair the fresh

Slices in the minds scars

Reminding the smile inside

Somewhere a voice of love

Lurks beyond the touch

Lost awaiting to be found

(C) Frank Mcgivney

Remember those who sometimes forget are not lost just on a different stream where intelligence and wit flourish but a tear caresses the smile for the echoes of voices we struggle to recall

You forgot the end again

You forget where it began

Drifting from your eyes

Your fearful grip

On strands of words

You write each time

Her name her hair

Her smell her eyes

Lost to be refound

Through blurred notes

On unworthy slips

Of yellow and green

You make her laugh

You make her smile

You use your smarts

You use your words

To hide the fear

The darkness wins

Once more

The emotions remain

But her name

Even her name

Flounders on your lips

You forget when it began

But the agony of the end

Tightens it’s grip

repeats

To fade into a memory

Forever lost once more

You loved her once

You love her still

You will love her once again

(C)frankie Mcgivney